Swearing (beware the naughty words!)

I was having a discussion recently with a European friend of mine on the nature of swearing; a discussion I've had in various forms with many non-native speaking speakers I've met, taught or otherwise fraternised with through the years. The discussion ultimately and inevitably involves two main topics; 1. What are the worst swear words to use (some sort of ranking system may be involved here) and 2. What are the most quintisentially English swear words, those that may not have been picked up on from films/the net etc. This second topic will inevitably involve more 'jokey' words like 'cad', 'pish' and, of course, 'fiddlesticks'. Occasionally, there is a third topic, that being the most inventive ways of swearing.....from the classic 'I bite my thumb at you' to those of more recent, but no less inventive writers, such as 'donkey raping ass master' (a product of the ingenious Stone and Parker).

Coincidentally I was reading today, as you do, about the origins of the word (look away now, ye of a weak disposition) 'Cunt'. A word so powerful I felt it needed its own capital letter. I had always assumed that it came from an earlier manifestation: 'cunny'. Now, of course, cunny has fallen out of favour and is actually laughable to use in conversation, a source of mirth rather than anger. Go back only a few decades though and it was very much in use - maybe not as powerful as the modern 'Cunt', but then everything was slightly softer in the 70s. I had always assumed therefore, that one took place of the other, as per the usual evolution of language. According to this article, however, both words are at least a few centuries older - and the former has been dated all the way back to the medieval era. A quick Wikipedia search confirmed this, and traces the roots back even further to the Norse 'kunta'.

Now much has been said on why certain words carry with them such a taboo, an nuance unwritten within the word which can really land you in hot water if used in the wrong surroundings (such as introducing politicians on the Today programme, for example) and I don't think I'll add much to that here. However, what I do want to talk about is our attitude towards swearing in toto.

Not long ago, I would have joined the lefty liberal elite in denouncing negative reactions to swearing as an immature response to words that are invariably just words. I would have proclaimed my intention to introduce my children to swearing at a young age (which I assume involves supplanting 'cock' for 'pee-pee' or something) in between sips of sweet wine in order to remove the negative shroud which surrounds it, and presumably quell the urge to rebel. I have always taken issue at the reactions to certain swear words among friends, and would challenge with my own aversion to words like 'Bieber', 'Kardashian' or 'X Factor'. All of which are still at shockingly socially acceptable levels.

Recently though I've noticed a few things which have contributed to a shift in my attitude toward swearing. The first of these is a by product of the internet, and how our methods and forms of communication have switched. When abbreviations such as 'WTF', 'FFS' and 'FML' started to enter the social media sphere I treated them with as much caution as the expanded terms they denote. I could see no difference between them, in as much as I wouldn't between 'BT' and 'British Telecom'; both hideous swear words in their own rights. So needless to say I was surprised when I saw them enter the perfectly natural and acceptable sphere of discourse; people would happily place their metaphoric megaphone to their lips and ask 500 or so people on Facebook 'What The Fuck is wrong with Kim Kardashian's face?' Equally, kids would text these abbreviations to parents, and even grandmothers would see it as the New Big Thing and involve themselves, so as to keep up with the kids. My own little sister has been sneaking ninja swears in wherever she can for years, something which would have earned me a boot up the arse and the inside of my room for a week.

So why would this be so natural and acceptable for people to do in a world where the full terms are still (almost) just as frowned upon? Recently I was watching an episode of Stephen Fry's Planet Word in which he was discussing the purposes of swearing, undertaking a (dubiously) scientific test to determine swearing's analgaesic properties. It was determined that psychologically, swearing increases the pain threshold and is therefore a natural reaction to painful circumstances. However, this effect is lessoned the more swearing is used in non-painful situations, as evidenced by Brian Blessed's turn in the same experiment. It was also mentioned that young children use biting, kicking, screaming etc less frequently once they have discovered words which have a similar reaction on adults. In short, swearing=attention. And a healthier form of attention than kicking and biting, if you ask me.

The logical continuation of this argument then, is that children who don't receive this reaction when swearing would revert to the former behaviour, or whatever that equivalent might be. When the magical effect that swearing has is lost, people need to find a better way to get it back...


Of course it's nothing new that those people who swear more infrequently gain more attention when they do so. I share an office with a man whose use of swear words, in the two years I've worked with him, I can count on one hand. But when it happens, we all sit up. It's interesting to note that in some parts of Scotland to call someone a 'daft cunt' would be a term of endearment and that over the pond the word 'wanker' would elicit little more response than 'fiddlesticks' and to refer to a 'fanny' would be to make a quaint reference to someone's backside.

So, to the beauty of swearing. The naughtiness of it, relishing in the reactions it causes, the nuances of swearing you can call your own, the reclaimation of it, the versitility of the words to suit your purpose, the incongruous affection and, above all, the intricacies of the sematics within. To over use it is to remove these nuances, to cleanse and to genericise it. To introduce our children to it is to sanctify it, in much the same way that anything we are interested in will, for years to come, be instantly destroyed. Besides, children will always find a way of achieving the desired affect, and swearing will always adapt to serve this purpose.

So enjoy your swearing, don't be offended when people react negatively - enjoy the reaction, that's why you swore in the first place. Swear loudly and frequently when the need arises, but hold it in when it doesn't. No-one enjoys hearing someone swear from dusk 'til dawn, but everyone loves hearing someone swear for the first time. Be inventive with your swearing, and find new ways to do so surreptitiously - this is ultimately how and why swearing exists. But whatever you do, never, ever use the phrase 'WTF'. You'll just sound like a dick.